


Who Knows One?

by Lanna Michaels (lannamichaels)



Category: Doctor Who (1963), Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Filk, Judaism, Metafiction, Pesach, The Problem of John Hurt, Trope Bingo: Round Three
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-09
Updated: 2014-04-09
Packaged: 2018-01-18 20:12:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1441312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lannamichaels/pseuds/Lanna%20Michaels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I know one!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Who Knows One?

**Author's Note:**

> For my Trope Bingo Round 3 "Metafiction" square.

Who knows one? I know one! One is Hartnell, one is Hartnell, ONE IS HARTNELL... in the TARDIS and on Earth.

Who knows two? I know two! Two is Troughton in black and white! And one is Hartnell, one is Hartnell, ONE IS HARTNELL... in the TARDIS and on Earth.

Who knows three? I know three! Three is Pertwee of UNIT! Two is Troughton in black and white! And one is Hartnell, one is Hartnell, ONE IS HARTNELL... in the TARDIS and on Earth.

Who knows four? I know four! Four is Tom Baker of the scarf! Three is Pertwee of U-U-NIT! Two is Troughton in black and white! And one is Hartnell, one is Hartnell, ONE IS HARTNELL... in the TARDIS and on Earth. 

Who knows five? I know five! Five is Davison with celery! Four is Tom Baker of the scarf! Three is Pertwee of U-U-NIT! Two is Troughton in black and white! And one is Hartnell, one is Hartnell, ONE IS HARTNELL... in the TARDIS and on Earth. 

Who knows six? I know six! Six is Baker Number Two! Five is Davison with celery! Four is Tom Baker of the scarf! Three is Pertwee of U-U-NIT! Two is Troughton in black and white! And one is Hartnell, one is Hartnell, ONE IS HARTNELL... in the TARDIS and on Earth. 

Who knows seven? I know seven! Seven is McCoy with question marks! Six is Baker Number Two! Five is Davison with celery! Four is Tom Baker of the scarf! Three is Pertwee of U-U-NIT! Two is Troughton in black and white! And one is Hartnell, one is Hartnell, ONE IS HARTNELL... in the TARDIS and on Earth. 

Who knows eight! I know eight! Eight is McGann in USA! Seven is McCoy with question marks! Six is Baker Number Two! Five is Davison with celery! Four is Tom Baker of the scarf! Three is Pertwee of U-U-NIT! Two is Troughton in black and white! And one is Hartnell, one is Hartnell, ONE IS HARTNELL... in the TARDIS and on Earth. 

Who knows nine! I know nine! Nine is Eccleston--

[Nine is John Hurt with a bomb!]

(No, stop, what are you doing?????)

[Eight is McGann in USA!]

(STOP THIS IMMEDIATELY.)

[Seven is McCoy with question marks!]

(That's it, I'm turning this song around RIGHT NOW.)

* * *

Who knows nine! I know nine! Nine is fantastic Chris! Eight is McGann in USA! Seven is McCoy with question marks! Six is Baker Number Two! Five is Davison with celery! Four is Tom Baker of the scarf! Three is Pertwee of U-U-NIT! Two is Troughton in black and white! And one is Hartnell, one is Hartnell, ONE IS HARTNELL... in the TARDIS and on Earth.

Who knows ten! I know ten! Ten is Tennant of the hair! Nine is ~~John Hurt with~~ _Eccleston dammit_! Eight is McGann in USA! Seven is McCoy with question marks! Six is Baker Number Two! Five is Davison with celery! Four is Tom Baker of the scarf! Three is Pertwee of U-U-NIT! Two is Troughton in black and white! And one is Hartnell, one is Hartnell, ONE IS HARTNELL... in the TARDIS and on Earth.

(Don't even start.) Who knows eleven! I know eleven! Eleven is bowtie Smith! Ten is Tennant of the hair! Nine is _Eccleston dammit_! Eight is McGann in USA! Seven is McCoy with question marks! Six is Baker Number Two! Five is Davison with celery! Four is Tom Baker of the scarf! Three is Pertwee of U-U-NIT! Two is Troughton in black and white! And one is Hartnell, one is Hartnell, ONE IS HARTNELL... in the TARDIS and on Earth.

(I see the way you're looking at me, stop it.) Who knows twelve! I know twelve! Twelve is Capaldi, who's not a lady! Eleven is bowtie Smith! Ten is Tennant of the hair! Nine is _Eccleston dammit_! Eight is McGann in USA! Seven is McCoy with question marks! Six is Baker Number Two! Five is Davison with celery! Four is Tom Baker of the scarf! Three is Pertwee of U-U-NIT! Two is Troughton in black and white! And one is Hartnell, one is Hartnell, ONE IS HARTNELL... in the TARDIS and on Earth.

Who knows thirteen?

[AHEM.]

(okay, fine, Bais Shammai, take it away)

I know thirteen! Thirteen is Capaldi, who's not a lady! Twelve is bowtie Smith! Eleven is Tennant of the hair! Ten is fantastic Chris! Nine is John Hurt with a bomb! Eight is McGann in USA! Seven is McCoy with question marks! Six is Baker Number Two! Five is Davison with celery! Four is Tom Baker of the scarf! Three is Pertwee of U-U-NIT! Two is Troughton in black and white! And one is Hartnell, one is Hartnell, ONE IS HARTNELL... in the TARDIS and on Earth.


End file.
